From the moment I heard the words “you’re pregnant” in 1989, my love for Destin began.  I instantly loved this precious gift from God.  Feeling this little miracle of life growing inside me was one of the most amazing experiences.  I heard the name Destin during roll call in PE class in high school.  I decided that day if I ever had a son, this would be his name.  I had always wanted a little boy.  God gave me that little boy.  He would later bless me with our second little boy, Seth.  When Destin made his entrance into this world, he was everything I had prayed for.  He was my son; he was my life. 

 

Destin’s infectious smile always got me through the toughest of times.  The year Destin was born a song called “When I See You Smile” by Bad English came out, I always called it “My Destin Song”.  Every time I hear it, I see that sweet baby looking back at me with that infectious smile.  Destin was such a gentle, kind, shy little boy.  He loved animals, he loved people, he loved football, he loved Mexican food, he loved life.  He was always very protective of me, even as a young boy and of course as his mother, I was very protective of him.  We had a very special bond that words cannot describe.  As years passed and I watched my little boy grow into a wonderful young man, he would be sure to remind me “I will always be your little boy Mom”.  He was and always will be. 

 

Whether you knew Destin 30 minutes or his 30 years, you were sure to love him.  I thank God for the 30 years I was blessed with his life but my heart is broken for the future he was robbed of.  He had so much more to do, he would have been the best daddy, he had more lives to touch, more memories to make.  I miss our conversations, his messages, his cards, his hugs, his laughter.  As a mother, there is nothing more precious than your children.  Losing a child, no matter their age, is the most painful, life changing, nightmare you can possibly imagine.  I cannot explain it, there are no words to describe this feeling.  I miss my son. 

 

In the last text I received from Destin, he asked if I had heard Luke Bryan’s new song, “Build Me a Daddy”.  I told him I had not, he said “I think you will like it”.  He knew how much I missed my daddy who we had just lost the year before I lost Destin.  Destin loved his family with the biggest heart.  I know where he is, I know I will be with him again someday.  Until then, my heart will never be whole.